Funny Funny.

A funn parody by Iowahawk. Enjoy!

Monday Morning Inbox - Political emails from work.

We all get them, and by now, you must know my policy. "I do not forward mine and everyone else on the lists' emails so that they can get used for spam". Instead, I post them here and share with everyone. Here is today's funnies:


AMERICA NEEDS A CANDIDATE WITH THIS PLATFORM!!


I HAVE DECIDED TO BECOME A WRITE-IN CANDIDATE FOR PRESIDENT IN THE YEAR 2012.

HERE IS MY PLATFORM:

(1). Any use of the phrase: 'Press 1 for English’ is immediately banned. English is the official language; speak it or wait outside of our borders until you can.

(2). We will immediately go into a two year isolationist attitude in order to straighten out the greedy big business posture in this country. America will allow NO imports, and we'll do no exports. We will use the ‘Wal-Mart’s policy, ‘If we ain’t got it, you don't need it.' We'll make it here and sell it here!

(3). When imports are allowed, there will be a 100% import tax on it coming in here.

(4). All retired military personnel will be required to man one of the many observation towers located on the southern border of the United States (six month tour). They will be under strict orders not to fire on SOUTHBOUND aliens.

(5). Social Security will immediately return to its original state. If you didn't put nuttin in, you ain't gettin nuttin out. Neither the President nor any other politician will be able to touch it.

(6). Welfare. -- Checks will be handed out on Fridays, at the end of the 40 hour school week, the successful completion of a urinalysis test for drugs, and passing grades for your children.

(7). Professional Athletes -- Steroids? The FIRST time you check positive you're banned from sports ... for life.

(8). Crime - We will adopt the Turkish method, i.e., the first time you steal, you lose your right hand. There are no more ‘life sentences'. If convicted of murder, you will be put to death by the same method you chose for the victim you killed: gun, knife, strangulation, etc.

(9). One export of ours will be allowed: wheat; because the world needs to eat. However, a bushel of wheat will be the exact price of a barrel of oil.

(10). All foreign aid, using American taxpayer money, will immediately cease and the saved money will help to pay off the national debt and, ultimately, lower taxes. When disasters occur around the world, we’ll ask The American People if they want to donate to a disaster fund and each citizen can make the decision as to whether, or not, it’s a worthy cause.

(11). The Pledge of Allegiance will be said every day at school and every day in Congress.

(12). The National Anthem will be played at all appropriate ceremonies, sporting events, outings, etc.

My apology is offered if I've stepped on anyone's toes ..... Nevertheless......


GOD BLESS AMERICA.


Sincerely,

Bill Cosby

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Ship the illegals out so Americans can have jobs? It's been done before and Gov. Quinn wants your kids to know about it. Did you?

So, over the weekend, Gov. Quinn signed a bill that would require Illinois schools to teach that there was "a forceful removal and illegal deportation of almost 2,000,000 Mexican-American U.S. citizens" during the Great Depression.

The bill by itself is revisionist history. During the 1930's, then President Hoover ordered tougher enforcement of illegal immigration laws and nearly 2,000,000 ILLEGAL Mexican Nationals, with a very small percentage of U.S. Citizens (mainly children born in the US to Mexican Nationals that were being deported and did not want to leave behind). It wasn't the "forceful removal and illegal deportation" that the bill states.

In addition to the deportation of illegals during the Great Depression, operation "Wetback" was implemented by President Eisenhower after the end of World War II so that returning veterans would be able to have jobs. This led to a total of roughly 1.3 million illegals being deported.

This post is not about advocating the immediate removal of illegal immigrants from the U.S. so that our unemployment rate, which is currently hovering around 10%, goes down, but to point out the inaccuracies of the legislature that was signed over the weekend.

Revisionist history belongs in Orwellian books, not state law, Gov. Quinn!

FYI, I am opposed to illegal immigration for the following reasons, in order of importance:

1. Illegal immigrants are treated like animals because they have no rights.
2. It is illegal and thus, they and their employers are criminals.
3. Who says Americans won't take those jobs? Take away or limit welfare first and see what happens.
4. Puts a burden on hospitals and clinics that have to treat uninsured patients, thus raising the price of health care because the cost has to be spread to those that do pay or have insurance.

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OK, throwing my weight behind Mitt.......

I know that 2012 is far away, but now that 2016 is out of the picture, I have other things to focus on. The first and foremost is to remove the Democrat monopoly that is currently going on in Washington and then to but a businessman back into the White House, rather than a community organizer lawyer. That is why I am picking Mitt over the other Repubs that are interested thus far and here are my reasons why:

1. As much as I like Sarah Palin's "rogue" ways, she just isn't executive material. Running the country is more akin to running a business than running a moose hunt (I love to hunt) and she just doesn't have what it takes. Besides, moose are easy to shoot because they can't see too far!
2. John McCain is out of it. He knows it, I know it and obviously, the rest of the nation knew it last November.
3. Tim Pawlenty seems to be a pretty good choice, but some of the things that he says, i.e. creationism, bringing up President Obama's "desire" to indoctrinate our children into little commies, and other such things make me worry about his decision making abilities. His finger is too close to the nuclear football to have him make hair brained decisions and get the rest of us fried!
4. Even though Mike Huckabee is the uncle I never had, I just can't get over the fact that he is from Arkansas. We have already had one recent President from Arkansas and I don't think that we need another. It still remains the lowest state in the nation for test scores, automobiles, teeth and IQ's over 100 (sorry to the other 5 that don't fit in this category!).
5. Bobby Jindle - see Tim Pawlenty, with a southern accent. I don't think that people can get over that! :)

Mitt is a down to earth guy who is fiscally conservative from a state that is liberally social. He has had to deal with all types of politicians and was able to make do. The Mormon thing should be a non-issue for evangelicals because the Mormons have the track record behind their message, i.e. lowest divorce rate, strong family values, a rock-solid idea on how welfare should work (people have to perform public service for their government issued food stamps rather than sit at home on their tushes), and many other fine qualities that you would like your young children to aspire to one day.

Here's to you Mitt! I will proudly be on the Illinoisans for Mitt Bandwagon.

Begging for troops.....

As President Obamba (yes libs, I can still show respect for the office by calling him by his title, unlike the "Bush" crap you pulled) heads to Copenhagen to beg the Olympic Committee to fatten the wallets of all of the corrupt Chicago politicians that Obama still owes his origination from, his lead general in Afghanistan is relegated to having to openly beg for more help in the public media. Nothing says "weakness" to our enemies and the enemies of the free world than having the guy in charge of ridding that corner of the world from the scum that threaten us than having to beg, yes I said BEG, for more troops. (Maybe he has to beg in public because Obama ignores him otherwise.)

Shame.

Irving Kristol - Conservative Giant

Was perusing over at LGF and Charles started a nice thread this morning on Irving Kristol and a link that he posted from the WSJ. Very nice passages there. Here are my two favorites:

Life Without Father, Nov. 3, 1994

One of the incontestable findings of modern social science is that fathers are Very Important People. I confess to having been astonished to discover just how important we are. Important in all sorts of unexpected ways. Thus, it turns out that almost two-thirds of rapists, three-quarters of adolescent murderers, and the same percentage of long-term prison inmates are young males who grew up without fathers in the house. I doubt that many fathers have understood that their mission in life had anything to do with the prevention of rape, murder, or long-term imprisonment among their sons.


Income Inequality Without Class Conflict, Dec. 18, 1997

It is often said that capitalism—that is, a market economy—is morally obnoxious because its "trickle-down economics" inevitably creates inequality of income and wealth. Now it is certainly true that "trickle-down economics" has that effect. It is also true, however, that if you want economic growth and greater affluence for all, there is simply no alternative to "trickle-down economics," which is just another name for growth economics.

The world has yet to see a successful version of "trickle-up economics," an egalitarian society in which the state ensures that the fruits of economic growth are universally and equally shared. The trouble with this idea—it is, of course, the socialist ideal—is that it does not produce those fruits in the first place. Economic growth is promoted by entrepreneurs and innovators, whose ambitions, when realized, create inequality. No one with any knowledge of human nature can expect such people not to want to be relatively rich, and if they are too long frustrated they will cease to be productive. Nor can the state substitute for them, because the state simply cannot engage in the "creative destruction" that is an essential aspect of innovation. The state cannot and should not be a risk-taking institution, since it is politically impossible for any state to cope with the inevitable bankruptcies associated with economic risk taking.

My prayers go to Mr. Kristol's family during this time.

Junk Science? Maybe we should look into it!

Something for Obama's Science Czar to look into. Are these two things related?

From Breitbart.com:

Ozone Layer is smaller this year than last year.

and from the Examiner.com:

The record for longest consecutive number of sunspot-free days since 1913, which was set last year, is about to be usurped by a 2009 extreme.

Where is the link? Try:

Sunspots, weather and climate

While scientists have speculated for more than a century about how sunspot-related solar radiation streaming toward Earth affects our weather, a paper published recently (August 27) in the journal Science demonstrates how sunspot activity can produce La Niña and El Niño-like conditions over the globe’s tropical oceans.

I think we need some critical thinking in our policy making department.